So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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