I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
