You can't special order awesome
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
