That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize