dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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