my mouth tastes like poor choices
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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