That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
