I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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