Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
