Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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