if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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