she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
