i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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