I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I will die if light touches me.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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