I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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