I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
