just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
