i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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