Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
