I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
