Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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