after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
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I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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