We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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