shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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