she woke up with a sticky ear
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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