i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
