You're so nebulous sometimes
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
