I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
