Non-Jews are for practice
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
