she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
