Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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