I CAN MOONWALK!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
