no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
