It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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