I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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