is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
