Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
How's work?
Spinning.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
