you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I forget how to act sober
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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