I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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