Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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