its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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