Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
