; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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