it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
