Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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