Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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