He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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