Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
