Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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