she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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