$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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