Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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