Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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