also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
did i walk over a car last night?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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