maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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