best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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